Monster Beats

I was looking out the window. I was waiting for the plane to take off. I was wearing Monster Cable's Beats by Dr. Dre Studio headphones ($349.95). I was listening to Pens' burning, fuzzed-out, 27-minute onslaught, Hey Friend, What You Doing? (320kbps MP3; LP, De Stijl IND071). I was shouting with sudden shock and pain.
"Ow! What?"
My brother-in-law had reached across the aisle and punched me in the leg. He'd been trying to get my attention for a while.
"How do the headphones sound?"
"They sound good, jerk. I couldn't hear a thing you were saying." Apparently, the Beats' noise-canceling feature was working as advertised.
I had just discovered it. Moments earlier, I'd settled into my seat and plugged the Beats' seductive red cable into my iPod Nano's mini-jack. I'd selected an album and pressed Play. Nothing.
Included in the Beats' impressive packaging are two Duracell AAA batteries. I hadn't installed them. I removed the headphones and searched all over for a battery compartment. Again: Nothing. I was perplexed. And charley-horsed.